Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Freaking Valentines Day!

Translated as "Let's go see how much money we can spend on stupid shit that dies, or gets eaten in five minutes flat, go eat a rediculously over priced meal that barely even fills us up, while wearing our new beautiful red dress all the while hoping that our significant other will compliment us on how beautiful we look tonight, all for what?"


Yep, that's all it is. Sex. We work so hard, making ourselves presentable, being nice, buying flowers that die, candy that makes us fat (and makes that little red beautiful dress too snug to look beautiful), and teddy bears that will just collect dust, but HEAVEN FORBID we throw it out, because "husband" or "boyfriend" or "fiance" gave it to us and if we throw it out that means we don't appreciate it, so we *sneeze* keep it for years and years. We show our love, we don't nag, we don't bitch and whine...all for a day that is supposed to end with SEX! Wait, isn't this what we are supposed to do every day? Why is February 14th any different? Beacuse Hallmark, Target, Walmart, Jared's (yes, he went to Jared's....that Jared's, not Subways' Jared) and all the other retailers out there are capatilizing on it and making men feel bad for not buying their wife some expensive piece of shit that they can't afford anyways. They tell these men that they have to do this in order to "show their love"..........or as I say.....get SEX.

I say, skip all that stupid shit, go to Target and steal a cutesy phrase from a hallmark card, write it on a nice piece of cardstock, slap on a couple of heart stickers, give it to me, watch me smile, and then take me upstairs and have your way with me. That's the best way to show your love! Yeah baby!!!!!
(For the record, we were both drunk in this picture......Chris says I look drunk, and he doesn't......HA! How many times are his eyes usually glazed over like that?)

1 comment:

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