Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sunday night, she was so nervous that she almost made herself sick. Her tummy hurt. She cried all day over everything and nothing. I finally sat her down and asked her what was wrong. She was nervous, she replied. Nervous about what? Afraid she would not know all the answers, afraid she wouldn't make friends (Ya, right, have you met my daughter, the social butterfly?) and afraid she would get lost (hhhm, could have something to do with the fact that Mommy got lost last Thursday at meet the teacher night?). I assured her that it was OK to be nervous, but that everything would be ok. She has the help of her teacher, the student teacher, and all the grown-ups at the school. I told her she has NEVER had problems making friends, and that she would probably make a friend on the first day.
We were right. Monday, she met a friend. We asked what the friend's name was. She couldn't remember, but it starts with a "D". I had to snicker at this. So did Chris....he always laughs at me when I swear something starts with a certain letter....SWEAR IT...and I am usually wrong....WAY wrong. (that's the ONLY thing I am EVER wrong about, by the way...hehehe) But, she did good. Her teacher played a scavenger hunt game with the class where they had to go around the school looking for certain people with a shape on them (nurse, librarian, gym teacher, music teacher, etc). Wish they would have had that on meet the teacher night...maybe I wouldn't have gotten us lost..... 2 times.
Tuesday, we asked her if she remembered her friends name. Nope, she talks too quiet and I still didn't hear her.
Wednesday, she finally remembered her friends name....Daylyn. Not sure how to spell it, but that's how you pronounce it anyways.
Thursday, she had another good day. She's getting smart...WAY too smart.
Friday, she had to see the nurse. She handed me a note when she got in the car. I was like "uh-oh" I read the diagnosis....."chapped lips" I think I laughed out loud. She went twice that day to have vaseline put on her chapped lips. Her friend had to go to...the friend who's name she couldn't remember.....because her strap from her flip flop came loose, so the nurse had to tape it back on. Poor nurse. I wonder how much of her day goes to stuff like this. What a wonderful lady.
She has a long 3-day fun filled weekend ahead of her. Then, back to school on Tuesday. I'm not used to us getting up that early, but we'll get in a routine soon.
(eating her breakfast before her first day of school)
(she's ready to go)
(Wednesday's outfit, too cute not to snap a picture of)
Geesh, she looks so grown up already. I'm about to cry.
A friend of mine sent me this and I thought it was too good not to share.
A Kiss for Kindergarten
Tomorrow is the day my child will go to Kindergarten for the first time. A whole new world opens up to you then. You are ready to meet it. You’ve handled your new Kindergarten clothes so many times in anticipation of the day you would wear them.
But I wonder how ready your parents are for this new life of yours? If I could, I’d hold you back just a little longer, closer to me, where I can shelter your world and share your life.
Tomorrow when you take my hand for the walk to school, I will be the one who dawdles. When you reach the school door, you’ll leave me, anxious to join the others. You’ll walk through it as the others have done without a backward glance. There I’ll stand wanting to shed a few tears because my baby has become a little child. But, I won’t cry. Instead I’ll concentrate on being proud. Proud that we have made you secure enough in five years to stand on your own for a little while before racing home to share the news of the day. How we’ve built so much security, I don’t know. All we’ve done is LOVE you.
Tomorrow you will meet the ultimate authority. Soon you will tell me with complete confidence what has to be done because “the Teacher says.” I must surrender part of my position to another who is about to enter your life and your heart. No longer will I know all your friends. Tomorrow you will broaden horizons and meet other children, I shall know only through your tales of the school room.
You will soon learn to keep your own little secrets as you master the art of making Christmas presents, and someone else’s hands will help you to do it. But there is much for us to share this year as you tell me what “Teacher said” and “Joey did”. And I will listen enchanted as I view the new world through your eyes.
It’s so hard to let you go, my child. For five years you have been my companion. Tomorrow I begin a new life too. Yes, I hate to see you leave behind the sheltered world of home but I will always be with you. Love reaches beyond the doors of school rooms, beyond the boundaries of neighborhoods, beyond time and place.
In the morning, I will help you put on your new crisps clothes and we will be on our way. But tonight – tonight for the last time, you are simply my baby. I hold you now at bedtime just a little longer, cuddle you just a bit closer, give you one more kiss before saying goodnight. In your excitement, you don’t notice my stealing that extra kiss. I need it for kindergarten.
Adapted from Family Digest
Are you crying too?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I ask my children what they want for breakfast and lunch, just so that A.) they feel like they are making a grown up decision, and B.) I dont have to bother making something only for them to reject it as soon as I put it on the table. So, I let them choose those meals, and I get to pick what's for dinner. It really makes my life easier.
Tuesday, I ask Brayden what he wants for breakfast. We're in a hurry so that we can get Kaylee off to school in time. He looks in the freezer and picks the Eggo Mini Pancakes. Cool! Microwaveable, quick, easy, and he can eat them in the car if needed. So, I heat him up 6 mini pancakes. He scarfs them down. We take Kaylee to school. We get home. He wants more. So, I make him 3 more for a snack. Lunch, same thing....he wants pancakes. Ok, if that's what my baby wants, that's what my baby gets. I heat up 9 more. He takes a while to eat the last 3 or 4, so he ends up taking them into his bed with him as he watches a movie and prepares for nap. I go check on him 15 minutes later...pancakes are gone, tummy is full, and he is ZONKED out. So, 18 pancakes in 1 day! Granted, they are mini pancakes, but still....are we tired of them yet?
Nope! Wednesday morning, I ask again, what he would like for breakfast....I get this..."Pancakes...lotta pancakes!" Ok, 9 more pancakes....in a bowl...in the car.
MY SON ATE 27 PANCAKES IN 2 DAYS! Holy Cow!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Brayden was first and he had his 3 yr checkup. He weighed 33 pounds and is 37" tall. Both numbers are in the 50% on the growth chart. He is doing well for development and is doing everything he is supposed to be doing. Some memorable moments of his second year:
He started preschool last year, right after he turned 2.
He also helped us break the news of his new sibling on the way at our Thanksgiving dinner.
He sat on Santa's lap this year without crying. (this is his school holiday picture)
He moved into his big boy room in January. We made him a NASCAR room and he LOVES it!
He potty trained in May at the age of 32 months (2yrs 8 months for those non-mommy's)
Part of his potty training rewards was a train table, when he fully mastered both pee and poo in the potty.
And, finally, he sported a very cool mohawk for most of the year. We're currently debating cutting it off or letting him keep it. He also has a love for pancakes like Mommy.....
Grayson had his 2 month check up next, and he weighs 11 lbs 4 oz now (up from 7lbs 15oz at birth) and is 23 inches long (up from 20 inches at birth)! He is growing very well. He is also in the 50th% for both height and weight. His head is in the 95th% right now (16 3/4 inches), but it's also still a bit swollen, so the measurement wasn't the most accurate. (I say he has lots of brains up there) He had to get his first round of shots, and he did very well. I had to leave to go to the bathroom b/c I can't stand to hear him cry, so Daddy had to comfort him during that part. Grayson is starting to coo and talk to us, and he rolled over last week on his own from front to back. He has been smiling for a few weeks too, especially when Mommy talks to him. His head control is getting better each day too and he is reaching for objects in front of him.
Here are some pictures of his second month:
Yep, he is doing that......
Grams and Grandpa holding him
Well, that's all that is new in our house this week.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
All summer long I have been getting drilled about when dance starts. I put it on her calendar, I showed her on my calendar, we went over the days of the week again so she would remember.....to no avail. Finally, the weekend before dance class starts, the countdown is on! She is literally counting down the days, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday!
Tuesday, she was at Grams house in the morning. She was so concerned that she wouldn't be home in time to get ready. She got home in plenty of time to change into her dance outfit, let me put her hair in a bun, and gather her tap and ballet shoes into a bag. (I think she looks absolutely adorable, with her cute little butt in the leotard, skinny legs sticking out from underneath her tu-tu, and hair pulled back softly into a bun. She suddenly looks so grown up too. I'm about to cry....my baby girl is growing up WAY too fast!) I can't help but smile.....and pinch her butt.
So, we go to the dance studio, and all the moms wait outside in the hallway while the little ballerina's all walk so gently into class with their ballet slippers on. (Again, she amazes me by how fast she has grown up.) They close the door and we wait outside for an hour. (Us Moms only get to peek in through the window on the first class of each month) When class is over, she gets to choose a piece of candy and she comes running over to me. (She asks if she can save her candy for tomorrow since it's already almost bedtime and that's way too much sugar before bed....she makes me so proud!) As we're walking out to the car I ask her about her class and the conversation goes a little something like this:
Mommy: "So, how was class?"
Mommy: "What did you learn?"
Mommy: "What is your teachers name?"
Kaylee: "I dunno"
Mommy: "Did you have fun?"
Mommy: "Do you want to keep doing dance?"
Mommy: "well, tell me all about it...what did you do first?"
Kaylee: "We Stretched"
Mommy: "then what?"
Kaylee: "freeze dance"
Mommy: "what's that?"
Kaylee: "Where you dance and when the music stops, you freeze"
Mommy: "then what?"
Kaylee: "That's it"
(She got those conversation skills from her Daddy, apparently)
So, we get in the car and go back over to Grams house where she promised to show me the moves she learned when we get there. We walk in and she suddenly turns shy.....my 5 yr old social butterfly that has never met a stranger in her life, is hiding behind me! I am STUNNED! (as is everybody else who is reading this who has ever met my social butterfly) She didn't want to show the moves to Grams either. Grams, Aunt Casey, and Madison all sat down to watch Kaylee put on her show and she just stood there. She wouldn't even let Grams take pictures without a pouty face. Later I find out that she didn't want to put on a show because she was worried that people would make fun of her if she got a move wrong, or messed up. Geesh, sounds like her mommy! (That is why I don't dance, in case you were wondering, but I have NEVER said that out loud to her) She finally let Grams get a few pictures after all the rest of us left the room.
So, she loves dance, although you would never guess it from this post! Maybe next week, I'll get better answers out of her, and she may be a tad bit more excited and back to her normal bubbly self after class. Over the past few days, I have since learned that she jumped and "ballayed" across the floor, and learned first position and plia. Oh, and she stretched to Miley Cyrus....which she enjoyed!
She will also get to be in the local town Christmas Parade and she has a recital at the end of the season. I'm sure I'll have plenty of pictures from that one!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Oops, we took them from opposite directions, but you can still see the difference. The big lump in the back is gone (hard to tell because the background is dark on the sideview after shot), and the head is much rounder, and less oblong shaped. In the middle, above his ears, it is not narrow anymore, it is filled out.
Front view from 1 week after.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Each day gets easier. I know he is in a lot of pain, or uncomfortableness (is that a word? today it is anyways) so I try not to let it bother me. Especially knowing that it's my last child, I am loving the cuddleness that he shows. He won't sleep in his pack n play, he will only sleep next to me. I guess I should feel honored, but at the same time, I need a good nights sleep for once. I'm exhausted. What happened to his 6 hour block at night? He is only going about 4 hours now! So, I'm up feeding him 2x per night now. I am so tired in the mornings, Kaylee pretty much gets everything that Brayden needs and plays "mommy" to him while I doze on and off from the couch. I'm so thankful for her, but I also feel bad that I don't have the energy to do anything. I can't wait to get back to the gym either, but that will have to wait until Grayson gets his helmet on.
Monday, August 11, 2008
10:55am- We are officially discharged. Grayson got his IV’s out. I picked up 14 bottles of my frozen milk from the milk bank, and as soon as he’s done eating, we will be heading out. I’m gonna stop by Target and get him a BUMBO chair. I think he’ll really like that since we found out he can’t stand the bouncy chair or swing anymore because of his head. We brought an outfit with a hood so we didn't have a bunch of stares from strangers as we leave.
7:36pm- We’re home! Grayson’s fussy, and I can’t seem to find a way to get him comfortable except in my arms. He didn’t want in his crib, the pack n play, the bumbo chair, nothing! It’s gonna be a fun few days if he won’t let me put him down…
I love that face! He is such a pouter..... (wonder where he gets that from....hehehe)
My kids come home tomorrow. Chris is picking them up on his way home from work. I miss them terribly and can't wait to give them a big hug.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
4:49am- He had an excellent feeding. First time he has taken both sides since surgery. He got some tylenol and went back to sleep. I’m a very happy momma. His left eye is swollen shut, which is normal, but overall, he looks really good.
9:34am- I’m holding Grayson now. We had a good night. Dr came in this morning and took off his bandages. The incision looks really good. It looks like an “S” across the top of his head. The back of his head is very soft. They brought him a mobile and a bouncy seat to use while we are here. We just gave him a sponge bath and cleaned him up a bit. When he is awake, he coos and flirts with the nurses. They are totally smitten with him. His left eye is now black and bruised. His first black eye! We’re bored, but we are going home tomorrow at least. I’m gonna try and get in a few naps today since I know my other 2 monsters won’t let me sleep much once they get home.
3:14pm- Grayson loves watching NASCAR…go figure. We moved his crib to right in front of the TV so he could see it closer, and he is reaching out to try and grab the cars…like it’s 3D or something.It’s really a funny sight to see. His appetite is back in full force. He’s draining me every time. Yay me!
3:48pm- Grayson got a little fussy and he’s not due for tylenol yet. He’s fed, burped, changed….so we went for a walk up and down the hall. He looked at all the lights in the ceiling and all the artwork in the halls. His 4 favorites were the T-rex dinosaur, dog, cat, and flower basket paintings. He fell asleep on my shoulder on the way back to the room, so he’s content.
I've had a few people ask me how I have stayed so strong through this all.....Yeah right! I certainly don't feel like I have. I'm a mess. I can't think straight. I cry every time I look at him. As I nurse him, I just drip tears constantly all over him. I feel like I'm back to post partum again. I am soo not strong! I'm just good at putting up a front so people don't see my true emotions. I hate it when people see me cry. I'm almost man-like there. I feel like a baby if people see me cry, so the only person that I allow is Chris...unless you've happened to catch me in the heat of an emotional breakdown. I am very emotional, but I try not to be. I just keep thinking "Did I do something to cause this?" "Was it the chiropractor adjustments that I had while pregnant?" "Was is my spin classes, or my workout routine?" etc....I know it is sporadic, and we probably just drew the short straw, but I keep thinking it's my fault. I can tell you this, I AM DONE HAVING KIDS!!! I can't go through another c-section, and I definitely can't handle my kids going through anything like this. This is the hardest thing I have EVER had to deal with. No mother should ever see her children in pain like this.
I keep thinking of moms who have lost young children, or their children have life threatening illnesses like cancer, and such..... and my heart just breaks for them. I have always said "God will only give you what he knows you can handle" and even though I don't think I can handle this, He obviously knows something I don't. I am so thankful to Him for bringing my baby back safely, but on the other hand, I keep thinking why does he take some children so young? I know it's because he needed them for something very important up in Heaven, but still, my heart breaks for them! And how is it that these children are so strong? Grayson went from morphine on day 1 to Tylenol on day 2. Tylenol doesn't even work when I have a headache...how could it be working so well for him?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
12:46pm- Breastfed Grayson for a few minutes. He latched right on, but didn’t want too much. I think it hurts to swallow from the tracheal tube thingy he had in during the operation. He is in a private room now. Got his oxygen tube taken off, and all his vitals monitors are removed. He only has his IVs in for now and is still on the saline drip until he eats more. They will probably take his bandages off tomorrow. He’s off Morphine, and only on Tylenol now. I get a food tray now too, since I am breastfeeding, and Chris’ president of his company brought us some lunch since he lives nearby. Very appreciative of that.
2:56pm- Grayson has eaten 3 times today so far. We’re about to take a nap since he is sleeping. He still screams anytime his head is moved. I know he’s in a lot of pain, but he is only given Tylenol. But, he’s awake quite a bit and not sleeping the whole day away.
6:25pm- Grayson is eating much better and making improvements at each feeding. He is nursing for about 5-10 minutes, and then I pump out the leftovers (about 2.5-3oz) and he bottle feeds on that. He is wanting to eat about every 2-3 hours. He kicked his foot and tore the tape off his IV so he cried in pain when that happened. Nurse came in and taped it back down, and took out his saline drip. So, he only has the IV leads in, but he is not hooked up to anything anymore. He eats better out of a bottle at the time, because we feed him while he is laying on his pillow. When he nurses, I think it puts too much pressure on his head and he hurts after a few minutes. Plus, it’s more work, and he’s just plain worn out. My supply is hurting a little bit, but I am still getting out more than what he is taking at each feeding, so I’m not upset about it. I’m just keeping up the pumping after each feeding and hoping to get it back to where it was by the time he needs more. I have faith in my body. It hasn’t ever failed me yet with him. He looks so peaceful while he sleeps. I miss my older kids though. I called Mimi's house to talk to them and Brayden informed me that he was playing….playing with what???, I said. His tallywacker…. OMG! BOYS!!!
10:32pm- We're about to head to bed. I just finished nursing Grayson. The nurse helped me get him in a good position without hurting his head. She's wonderful and so helpful!
Friday, August 8, 2008
6:00am- we are being checked into the surgery admissions dept. He weighed 11 pounds even this morning!!!
6:15am- we head back to the surgery admission waiting room where they give us a gown for Grayson to put on. He's not too happy about it. He also hasn't eaten in over 4 hours. He doesn't understand why Mommy won't feed him when he is hungry.
8:30am- I just handed Grayson off to the surgeon team and they took my baby to the operating room. I'm a freaking wreck, I've been crying like crazy. I just pray that he gets returned back to me safely and with no lasting effects. This is by far the hardest thing I have had to do in my entire life! I handed off my child to a surgeon to be cut open! This is sooo unfair. No child should have to go through this. Especially one so young. We're heading to the waiting room where we have some family waiting for us. I need to get some breakfast in me before I vomit from my nerves wrecking my tummy. Then, I need to go pump...I'm so full, I'm hurting!
10:27am-IVs are in, anesthesia working, and they’re starting surgery now. Next update will be at 11:15
12:04pm- They’re stitching him up. Didn’t lose much blood, which is good. Dr. will be out in 30 minutes for update.
12:22pm- Surgery went well. Took a little longer because the skull had also fused in the front. Only took 2 oz of blood. Next 24 hours in ICU. Good
1:21pm- just left to go see Grayson in post-op. Should be a little swelling, but otherwise doing well. We saw him briefly and he is swollen and cried when he saw us. I thought handing him off was the hard part. NOPE! Seeing him in recovery....I think I cried almost a gallon of tears. He was pale white from the blood loss. He looked very bruised. His skin had a purple tint to it. He was in pain, looking at me, crying out with this awful look on his face like "mommy, why don't you take the pain away". His cry was more like a sheep "aaah" and it was very weak, from the tube that was down his throat. He was confused, disoriented, and in lots of pain. They gave him his first dose of morphine while we were there. They kept his hair for me that they had to shave. It was in a biohazard bag. (I guess that was all they had) He had oxygen blowing on him and was hooked up to what seemed like a million cords.
2:39pm- Grayson is in ICU getting adjusted to his bed. We will get to see him again shortly and feed him.
6:13pm- Got to hold Grayson for a few hours. every time he moves, he cries. he’s in a lot of pain. not really eating, just sleeping. I’m tired. Maybe I’ll sleep more than 3 hours tonight??
7:26pm- Briefly fed Grayson…ok, so I was really just his pacifier but he did get a little milk. They took his catheter out and finally got some size one diapers. (they had him in a newborn size and he almost busted out) he is sleeping and quiet right now in mommy’s arms.
8:29pm- Grayson is sleeping peacefully. He can lay on the back of his head now…I wonder if he realizes it yet. I keep singing "You are my Sunshine" to him. That's his song from Mommy.
10:30pm- We're heading to our brother-in-laws house about 5 minutes away to crash for the night. I'm exhausted and my eyes burn from lack of sleep and too much crying.
Monday, August 4, 2008
We'll keep you all posted on his status on Friday through out the day as we know more.
We don't have an exact time yet for his surgery. The nurse said there is a surgery in the morning already on that day, so it will probably be late morning/afternoon.
8 is our family's lucky number, so we believe the date of his surgery will bring us good things and positive results! (Kind of ironic that it takes place on that day due to an "act of God" delaying it)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Often confused with skull deformation due to birth or sleeping position (positional plagiocephaly), craniosynostosis is a permanent cranial deformation, and the only way to fix it is through surgery. Although there are several theories about the cause of this condition, research has shown that the deformation is sporadic.
When a baby is born, the skull is divided up into different segments, and each segment contains sutures that will ultimately fuse together as a child gets older.
But when a baby is born with craniosynostosis, one or multiple sutures fuse together too early, leaving the brain little or no room to grow. The brain must push its way in a different direction, which most often causes cranial distortion and pain.
If a child waits too long or never receives treatment, the child can be susceptible to physical and developmental problems.
Scaphocephaly (Grayson's type) involves fusion of the sagittal suture. This sutures runs from front to back starting at the fontanel, at the top of the head, and extends backwards along the middle of the skull to the back of the head. Often the fontanel, or soft spot, is absent or closed. A ridge can be seen, or felt, running along the top of the head in between the right and left half of the skull. When viewed from above, the skull is wider near the forehead and gets narrower towards the back of the skull (which is the opposite of what is normal: that is, the back of the skull should be wider than the front). When looking straight on at the child's face, the forehead seems quite big, or prominent, and the sides of the skull look narrow. Often described as resembling a football or a boat.
The incidence of scaphocephaly is one in 2,000 births. It is the most common form of craniosynostosis. Almost all children affected with scaphocephaly require surgical treatment.
Surgery is typically used to separate the fused sutures of the skull as well as to reshape the skull. Typical surgery begins with a zigzag incision from ear to ear across the top of the head. The scar left by this type of incision makes the hair look more natural than that left by a straight incision would.
Next, a strip of skull is removed along the sagittal suture line. Grayson also had to have a strip of skull removed along the lambdoid suture. So, his strip removal resembled an upside down "Y" shape. He also had some endoscopic cuts made on the side of his skull to "fan" it out so it would widen the back. The skull is then reshaped and held together by dissolvable stitches. Finally, the incision is closed by disolvable stitches and the head is wrapped in dressing and gauze.