6:00am- we are being checked into the surgery admissions dept. He weighed 11 pounds even this morning!!!
6:15am- we head back to the surgery admission waiting room where they give us a gown for Grayson to put on. He's not too happy about it. He also hasn't eaten in over 4 hours. He doesn't understand why Mommy won't feed him when he is hungry.
8:15am- still waiting in the waiting room with Grayson. The surgeon/anesthesiologist and nurse just told us all about the procedure and how it would take place.
8:30am- I just handed Grayson off to the surgeon team and they took my baby to the operating room. I'm a freaking wreck, I've been crying like crazy. I just pray that he gets returned back to me safely and with no lasting effects. This is by far the hardest thing I have had to do in my entire life! I handed off my child to a surgeon to be cut open! This is sooo unfair. No child should have to go through this. Especially one so young. We're heading to the waiting room where we have some family waiting for us. I need to get some breakfast in me before I vomit from my nerves wrecking my tummy. Then, I need to go pump...I'm so full, I'm hurting!
10:27am-IVs are in, anesthesia working, and they’re starting surgery now. Next update will be at 11:15
12:04pm- They’re stitching him up. Didn’t lose much blood, which is good. Dr. will be out in 30 minutes for update.
12:22pm- Surgery went well. Took a little longer because the skull had also fused in the front. Only took 2 oz of blood. Next 24 hours in ICU. Good
1:21pm- just left to go see Grayson in post-op. Should be a little swelling, but otherwise doing well. We saw him briefly and he is swollen and cried when he saw us. I thought handing him off was the hard part. NOPE! Seeing him in recovery....I think I cried almost a gallon of tears. He was pale white from the blood loss. He looked very bruised. His skin had a purple tint to it. He was in pain, looking at me, crying out with this awful look on his face like "mommy, why don't you take the pain away". His cry was more like a sheep "aaah" and it was very weak, from the tube that was down his throat. He was confused, disoriented, and in lots of pain. They gave him his first dose of morphine while we were there. They kept his hair for me that they had to shave. It was in a biohazard bag. (I guess that was all they had) He had oxygen blowing on him and was hooked up to what seemed like a million cords.
2:39pm- Grayson is in ICU getting adjusted to his bed. We will get to see him again shortly and feed him.
6:13pm- Got to hold Grayson for a few hours. every time he moves, he cries. he’s in a lot of pain. not really eating, just sleeping. I’m tired. Maybe I’ll sleep more than 3 hours tonight??
7:26pm- Briefly fed Grayson…ok, so I was really just his pacifier but he did get a little milk. They took his catheter out and finally got some size one diapers. (they had him in a newborn size and he almost busted out) he is sleeping and quiet right now in mommy’s arms.
8:29pm- Grayson is sleeping peacefully. He can lay on the back of his head now…I wonder if he realizes it yet. I keep singing "You are my Sunshine" to him. That's his song from Mommy.
10:30pm- We're heading to our brother-in-laws house about 5 minutes away to crash for the night. I'm exhausted and my eyes burn from lack of sleep and too much crying.
1 comment:
My son (third child) was diagnosed with s. Craniosyntosis 2 days after his c-section birth june 10, 2011 His surgery is scheduled in 1.5 weeks. Crazy to read through your journals from June - august 2008. It is like I am reading my own journal right now. So many similarities it is weird. So glad to see your son is thriving. He is beautiful. And thank you for sharing so much for other people on this situation to read. How am I going to hand over my baby??
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