I met an angel today! No, really, I did! This woman was sent down from Heaven directly to Chic-Fil-A at the same time I walked through the door. Let me rewind a little bit......
Since Grayson's surgery, many people have come up to me and tried to "relate" to him wearing a helmet. There are different reasons children wear helmets. Most helmet babies have plagiocephaly (flat spots) and the helmet reshapes the head to round out the flat spot. Oh, I wish that was all Grayson had to go through! I get comments all the time like "oh, my baby had to wear a helmet too" or "someone I know had a kid who had to wear a helmet". Yeah, SOO NOT THE SAME THING! My bitchy response would be "really, did they have to go through surgery and be cut open from ear to ear to have strips of their skull removed? Did they have to have a blood transfusion? Will they be left with a zig zag scar across their head?....Yea, didn't think so!" But, I'm not a bitch. Not all the time anyways. So, I kindly respond with a smile "oh, not really the same thing, but thank you" or "he had to have neurosurgery at 7 weeks old, this protects his head, it doesn't re-shape it". I always felt alone and like it was just me that these comments bothered. My ultimate favorite....while we were at Walmart in the greeting card isle "oh, look, he is already playing football" WHY THE HELL WOULD A 3 MONTH OLD BABY BE PLAYING FOOTBALL? Really, you stupid bitch? Are you that dumb? Anyways, all this to say that not all helmets are created equal! Nobody will ever understand or be able to relate to what a cranio baby, or their mother has gone through until they have gone through it themselves!
So, back to my angel story. I was meeting my mom, Brayden, and Christopher at Chick-Fil-A this afternoon after I returned from my OB follow-up appt. This woman and her family were walking in at the EXACT same time I was walking in with Grayson. (Incidentally, they were all dressed in red and matched each other.) Grayson was asleep in his carrier and the gentleman (her husband) held open the door for me. I thanked him and walked to the table where my mom and hubs were waiting and she walks up to me and says.....
"I don't know if I am out of line saying this, but......My daughter had cranio. She is 9 years old now. You can't even see her scar. She also had to wear a helmet, although hers wasn't decorated as cute as his is. I just want you to know that I know what you have been through. It is a hard decision to make whether or not to do the surgery. You made the right decision! He will be just fine! I just want you to know that no other mommy can relate to what we go through until they have experienced it themselves. Some people can come up to you because someone they know has had to wear a helmet in life, but they do not realize how much you both have gone through! The helmet is only a small portion of what this little tiny being has been through. I have been there."
By this point, I am in tears. I think she is reading my thoughts. How could she know that these thoughts have been mine for the past 3 months? This woman continues on for 5 minutes or so about how tough it is on the moms to watch our little precious baby go through surgery. To hand them over to the operating staff. To see them in recovery. To think that you may never get to see your child's smile again. All the thoughts that I had before, during and after the surgery was EXACTLY what she was saying! WOW, I am not alone! I finally met someone who has been there and is now on the other side. She told me that sometimes when people try to relate to us, it can stir up a beast in us because if only they knew what we went through, they would not be so quick to comment. We are in a bubble of our own, so to speak. This is not cosmetic! It is required! It can cause brain damage if not corrected. I was in total agreement with every word coming out of this lady's mouth! She told me that the mental picture of her daughter in recovery will forever be burned in her mind. (I have said that many times myself) She teared up also at the thought of it....even 9 years later. She said she was so excited to hear her daughter cry for the first time after surgery, because she was afraid she was never going to hear it again. (Something I have told Chris before also) This lady is reading my mind! She kept stressing to me that I made the right decision!
I told her that I have never met anyone locally that has been through this. I thanked her for her encouraging words through my tear filled eyes and I hugged her! Yes, a complete stranger, I hugged! (Later, I found out that my mom had asked Chris if I knew the lady because she couldn't believe I would hug a complete stranger in the lobby of Chick-Fil-A)
This lady was sent to me from God to tell me all these things. I truly believe it in my heart. It couldn't have happened on a more perfect day. Today was the day I needed to hear those words. Today has been an emotional day for me. I won't go into details, but of all the days since his surgery, today was the day that this needed to happen! Her words will forever be with me! She was my angel for the day! I don't know her name, I don't know her daughter's name. I don't know if she even lives near here! All I know is that she made me feel normal. She made me feel loved. She made me feel understood. She made me feel so overjoyed! She made me feel refreshed! Words cannot express my thanks for this beautiful woman! She will forever be in my thoughts. Thank you angel lady in red! ;-)
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